Your union, if it is of God, has great value to you and others. If you or your partner has begun to question the benefit of your union, take some time to examine the contributions your relationship has made to your lives and the lives of those you have touched. Perhaps your communication or honesty need some fine-tuning, but a “dry” period does not have to create a division. Look closely at the blessings that both of you have received as a result of trying to be of service to others. Examine carefully the gifts that your union has given to those who have been close to you. If a state of gratitude is difficult to obtain on your own, ask your partner what he/she is grateful for and you will be inspired.

As adults, we need to embrace our fears and often our daunting sense of powerlessness and accept that children are on loan to us for a short period of time.  Our job is to guide and love our children during the time that we have with them.  This is a challenging, but not unattainable, task to undertake.  For those of us who were raised in families where children were not respected and cherished, we struggle with this task because we decide that “only the best” will do for our own children.  We do not want our childhood histories repeated in the lives of the children we love.

Our determination, although well-meaning, may block us from seeing how our insistence in making it “better” for our child may result in denying our child the opportunity to live his/her own life as intended.  Many of us shared immense excitement and fear when we gave birth to our children.  Often times this journey begins with the belief that we have the ability and responsibility to shield our children from physical and emotional pain.  As you may expect, our attempts are often futile.  By the grace of God, we can eventually come to understand that we are ill-equipped to shield our children from the problems they faced or will eventually face as they mature.  Once we allow God to parent our children, we are free to let go of the results.  Our children can bear witness to our love for one another at the same time that that love provides them with security and values to make the right choices in life.  Never underestimate the personal security your child will gain simply by witnessing the exchange of unconditional love between his/her parents.   If you want to see children (young and old) smile, give them the opportunity to watch their parents hug.  God will take care of the rest. © Leadem Counseling & Consulting Services, PC, 2000.