Your first glance at this topic may have resulted in you thinking, “this isn’t for me…I do not have any children.” Before deciding this is not for you, take a look at the various relationships you are in and identify the “children” that are part of your life today. This topic is not exclusive to those who have given birth, but is relevant to all who have an opportunity to impact the life of a child. We all have an opportunity to minister to children. It is not uncommon for adults to feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of parenting or mentoring children. They envision years of hard work with little guidance on how to embrace this daunting task. Our childhood memories, both the joys and sorrows, influence how we view this new experience. As we explore our own histories, we will gain a greater understanding of what we need to do to serve the relationship. Raising a child is an excellent opportunity for service. Do not let your fear or ignorance stand in the way. Embrace this experience as another gift from your Higher Power.
As adults, we need to embrace our fears and often our daunting sense of powerlessness and accept that children are on loan to us for a short period of time. Our job is to guide and love our children during the time that we have with them. This is a challenging, but not unattainable, task to undertake. For those of us who were raised in families where children were not respected and cherished, we struggle with this task because we decide that “only the best” will do for our own children. We do not want our childhood histories repeated in the lives of the children we love.
Our determination, although well-meaning, may block us from seeing how our insistence in making it “better” for our child may result in denying our child the opportunity to live his/her own life as intended. Many of us shared immense excitement and fear when we gave birth to our children. Often times this journey begins with the belief that we have the ability and responsibility to shield our children from physical and emotional pain. As you may expect, our attempts are often futile. By the grace of God, we can eventually come to understand that we are ill-equipped to shield our children from the problems they faced or will eventually face as they mature. Once we allow God to parent our children, we are free to let go of the results. Our children can bear witness to our love for one another at the same time that that love provides them with security and values to make the right choices in life. Never underestimate the personal security your child will gain simply by witnessing the exchange of unconditional love between his/her parents. If you want to see children (young and old) smile, give them the opportunity to watch their parents hug. God will take care of the rest.
About the Author
Shawn Leadem is a Licensed Clinical Social Workers in private practice in Toms River, New Jersey.
Shawn’s lifelong exposure to the recovery culture and his personal recovery experience has left him with a deep personal empathy for the social and emotional suffering endured by others and a strong faith in a person’s ability to change. He has received his certification as a Sexual Addiction Therapist and as a Multiple Addictions Therapist by the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals.
Together with John Leadem, Shawn has co-authored and brought their unique treatment model of relapse prevention, An Ounce of Prevention: A Course in Relapse Prevention, to residential treatment centers across the United States, they have trained therapists at numerous national and international conferences, and most recently have trained many EAP programs associated with many State Unions.
Copyright, John Leadem & Shawn Leadem, 2019
You are free to copy this article for future reference, to post it on other web sites and to share it with family or friends. If you would like to have permission to include it in a publication of your own you can request written permission by contacting the authors at www.leademcounseling.com.
[apss-share networks="facebook, twitter, google-plus, pinterest, linkedin" counter="0" total_counter="0" http_count="1"]
No Comments Yet | Post Comment
You can be the first to comment!
Leave a comment