There are a great many challenges to the security of a romantic relationship. The fears of our past life experiences may threaten the safety that we currently feel with each other without either partner being aware of the exact origin of the feelings of mistrust. The demands that are placed on our available time sometimes make it difficult for us to commit either quality or quantity time to our union which would promote mutual security. The projections we have regarding our ability to handle the economic vulnerabilities of career or child-rearing obligations that await us can seem overwhelming at times. Sometimes, this and other challenges will leave you or your partner unsure of the value of your romantic union. This and other questions can create a wall between you and your partner and between the relationship and the God of your own understanding. These walls will invariably cast a shadow on your faith in the union and your hope for the future. Any shadow that blocks you from a source of strength will generate suspicion and threaten emotional safety.
Your union, if it is of God, has great value to you and others. If you or your partner has begun to question the benefit of your union, take some time to examine the contributions your relationship has made to your lives and the lives of those you have touched. Perhaps your communication or honesty need some fine-tuning, but a “dry” period does not have to create a division. Look closely at the blessings that both of you have received as a result of trying to be of service to others. Examine carefully the gifts that your union has given to those who have been close to you. If a state of gratitude is difficult to obtain on your own, ask your partner what he/she is grateful for and you will be inspired.
About the Author
Shawn Leadem is a Licensed Clinical Social Workers in private practice in Toms River, New Jersey.
Shawn’s lifelong exposure to the recovery culture and his personal recovery experience has left him with a deep personal empathy for the social and emotional suffering endured by others and a strong faith in a person’s ability to change. He has received his certification as a Sexual Addiction Therapist and as a Multiple Addictions Therapist by the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals.
Together with John Leadem, Shawn has co-authored and brought their unique treatment model of relapse prevention, An Ounce of Prevention: A Course in Relapse Prevention, to residential treatment centers across the United States, they have trained therapists at numerous national and international conferences, and most recently have trained many EAP programs associated with many State Unions.
Copyright, John Leadem & Shawn Leadem, 2019
You are free to copy this article for future reference, to post it on other web sites and to share it with family or friends. If you would like to have permission to include it in a publication of your own you can request written permission by contacting the authors at www.leademcounseling.com.
[apss-share networks="facebook, twitter, google-plus, pinterest, linkedin" counter="0" total_counter="0" http_count="1"]
No Comments Yet | Post Comment
You can be the first to comment!
Leave a comment