January 1

Couple’s Meditation for January 1

Our unscientific research (we are just making this part up) indicates that the average life expectancy of a solitary New Year’s resolution is 7.5 days. If made with a solemn commitment to do it hand and hand with our mate, the expected life span of a joint resolution made on January 1st is 6 days. We have a difficult time maintaining resolutions in which it appears that we have some control. It is nearly impossible to remain committed to a resolution in which our adherence to it is dependent on the behavior of another person. In our recovery, when we resolved that were powerless over our destructive obsession/addiction and no human power could relieve it, the result was felt at once and we were set free. When we knew that we must quit or we would die, we generally kept on relapsing. A resolution, whether it is made on January 1st or April 1st, is only as good as our willingness to draw on a power greater than ourselves.

If you have identified aspects of your life that you believe need changing, you must first ask yourself if you want to change. If you need to change and do not want to change, the commitment will not last long. If you are serious about change, examine what you have attempted in the past and why those attempts failed. When you have a clear picture of the history, bring that picture to a fellow sufferer and solicit his/her experience, strength, and hope. Share that picture with all who care for you and ask for their prayers. If one of your sources of support is your mate that is great, however, keep the support to the practice of shared prayer and meditation in the beginning. You do not want your partner to assume the responsibility for your recovery.

God, help me to avoid the tendency to beat myself up with resolutions that I am not committed to. Life is influenced by pep rallies. I cannot cheer myself into change. I know that you are ready to carry me and I will let you.


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